Cast of Characters

Eric Olsen

He's a sweet (sweet but dumb) boy who works at the Sweet-Castle Cannery. His Mama and sisters all work in the cannery as well under the villainous Max Krooke.  The love of Eric's life is Virginia Sweet. * * Sigh * *

Virginia Sweet

Poor Virginia's father (the Sweet half of the Cannery) met an untimely and tragic death after Max Krooke convinced him it would be a good idea to have someone designated as Virginia's guardian should anything unfortunate ever happen to him.  Alas, poor Virginia is now the ward of the dastardly Krooke. Virginia and Eric have been secretly engaged for... 23 years!

Max Krooke

He is the villain, after all...

Sneake

Remember, that's Sneake, not Snake!  He is Krooke's disgusting toady.

Mrs. Olsen ("Mama")

She's a sturdy Norwegian widow who likes to have a good time too!  Eric is her darling son and, while she'd really like for her daughters to all find Norwegian husbands this year, she is not happy about the prospect of sharing her son with someone else!

Captain Jack

Captain Jack is the skipper of one of the 3 masted ships that call Astoria home-port.  He's an honest man who'd rather not deal with Krooke and fancies that sturdy Mrs. Olsen.  He likes sturdy women!

The Sisters

Greta, Anna, Merit and Sigrid are Eric's unmarried sisters that have a serious case of 27-year-itch.  They are convinced they will all find husbands this year!

Yakko & Eino

These Finnish fishermen are big fans of sturdy women.  They fish the mighty Columbia River and sell their fish to the cannery, where that villainous Krooke cheats them at every turn (why should they be any different than anyone else, after all?).  They would happily marry one of Eric's sturdy sisters if Mama would let them!

Miss Macie

Macie is the local... "professional business-woman"... She has a house full of professional gals that "entertain" the men of Astoria.  She has been courted by Mark Castle (the Castle half of the cannery) for the last 23 years, but hasn't quite worked through all the things she needs to consider.

Mark Castle

Mr. Castle was Virginia's father's partner.  When she marries, her husband will become his new partner.  Mr. Castle lives in San Francisco where business tends to keep him away from Astoria longer than he'd like.  Macie is the only woman for him and he continues to patiently await her decision.

Rosie & Lacie

Two of Miss Macie's... "friends"... who live (and work!) in her house.

 Miss Vivian

Lascivious Vivian is the owner of a local dive... uh... dump... uh... Saloon.  It's the meanest joint in town and the place you'd best not visit if you're not interested in an involuntary career at sea!

Wong Long

Chinese Sooth-Sayer that hangs out at Vivian's.  Can't say he didn't warn you!

Pat & Mike

Two young Irish sailors that earn a little extra money for the Midsummer Festival by delivering a new... member... to Captain's Jack's ship.  They're not bad... just confused.

Crowd

Duh... they do crowd stuff...